Sarah’s story: Bringing family together, no matter the distance

“A year ago, you couldn’t have pictured the three of us sitting at our kitchen table. And here we are,” says Caitlin*.

Finally, this family of three are together. Caitlin and Nolan* are Sarah’s* aunt and uncle. But they’re also Sarah’s kinship carers. And they almost can’t believe Sarah’s finally home with them in Ireland. Because it’s been a long journey to get to this point.

Born in Sydney, Australia in February 2021, Sarah was initially placed in the care of her assumed grandmother, Sophie*. Sarah’s birth mother, Shannon*, sadly has faced many challenges over the years. So, when Sarah was born, legally, Shannon couldn’t take her home.

The long journey for Nolan and Caitlin to become kinship carers began when Nolan lost contact with his sister, Shannon in 2019, who’d been living in Australia for the last 10 years on a visa. Concerned for her wellbeing and safety, Noland and Caitlin filed a missing person’s report with the police.

“We were hoping to get her found and get her deported and get her home, so we could help her,” says Caitlin.

But because they lived across the other side of the world, Nolan and Caitlin’s search eventually hit a dead end. It wasn’t until mid-2020, when Shannon’s ex-partner reached out, that Nolan and Caitlin discovered Shannon was pregnant.

After Sarah was born, Nolan and Caitlin were excited to receive photos of baby Sarah from Shannon. They felt hopeful for Shannon and Sarah to have a bright future together. But that quickly changed. By May 2021 they lost contact with Shannon completely. And when they found out Sarah never left the hospital with Shannon, Nolan and Caitlin contacted the NSW Department of Communities and Justice (DCJ) and discovered Sarah was living with Sophie.

This is where Wesley Dalmar, Wesley Mission’s foster care program stepped in. In June 2021, DCJ transferred over the case and for the first time, Nolan and Caitlin were asked whether they wanted to become Sarah’s kinship carers. That’s when Nolan and Caitlin brought forward their doubts about the father’s paternity.

Bringing Sarah home

Suddenly they were in a race against time. The Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia was only a couple of days away from making a final ruling on Sarah’s custody in Sophie’s favour. So, Nolan and Caitlin decided to go for it.

“We just didn’t want her growing up thinking that no one cared about her from her family,” says Nolan. “We just wanted her to know that we were willing to fight and do whatever we could to get her home.”

And the court agreed. “Because we were unable to get DNA testing confirmed, the magistrate was therefore happy with the idea of endorsing the assessment of Nolan and Caitlin,” Katie explains.

While Nolan and Caitlin ticked all the boxes to become Sarah’s kinship carers, for Katie, it was their devotion to Sarah that stood out.

“Just the level of devotion that they had towards Sarah. Nolan and Caitlin were on the other side of the world, and they were getting up at four or five AM to speak to me every week,” explains Katie.

“They knew everything about Sarah. They wanted to know exactly what her routine was, and they desperately wanted pictures. They had her best interests at heart. We had so many hours of discussion where they just kept saying over and over, ‘We’re not doing this for us. We’re doing this for her’.”

While Caitlin and Nolan waited for the court to rule on Sarah’s case, they made several life-changing decisions to prepare for Sarah’s arrival, including selling and buying a new home, upgrading their car and Caitlin left her job to manage the transition.

“We thought, we’re just going to have to act as if she’s coming because we don’t have time to do it all when we get the court order,” Caitlin explains.

A process that normally takes years, took six months. The judge too admired Nolan and Caitlin’s dedication and ruled in their favour. “This is unheard of in a case like this,” says Katie.

While a victory for Nolan and Caitlin, they almost couldn’t believe it to be true because they’d faced so many hurdles. And while they met more hurdles along their journey to Australia, in February 2022, Nolan and Caitlin finally arrived in Sydney to meet Sarah for the first time. And it was joy at first sight for this family.

“We just kind of connected straight away and she was very comfortable with us,” says Nolan.

But it was also emotional. Along with meeting Sarah, it was Nolan and Caitlin’s first-time seeing Shannon after so many years.

“For the four of us to be in the same room together, it was just unbelievable. After such a long process,” says Caitlin.

While a difficult transition for Sophie, Nolan and Caitlin are thankful for how well Sophie prepared Sarah for the change.

“Sophie could not have been nicer,” says Caitlin. “We could see the genuine love that she had for Sarah. We could see what a happy child Sarah was. That was down to a year that she had dedicated her life to the child. You could see she was so well looked after and so loved.”

New beginnings

Nolan and Caitlin were amazed at how quickly Sarah settled into her new home in Ireland. And now this bubbly young girl has changed their lives for the better. Sarah has even started calling her kinship carers, Mummy Caitlin and Daddy Nolan.

“She just brings so much joy to our home,” Caitlin says as tears well up in her eyes. “And even with everyone she meets. She’s touched the lives of so many people.”

Nolan and Caitlin agree that they’ll be ever grateful for Wesley Dalmar and Katie’s support.

“Katie has changed our lives,” says Caitlin. “This has been the toughest experience of our lives and the most rewarding. And every step of the way, you were with us. And that means the world to us.”

Along with helping to bring Sarah home, Katie also supported with bringing Shannon back to Ireland, so Sarah can have a relationship with her birth mother.

“When Katie came into our lives, we’d know where Shannon was every week, if not every day. We got updates all the time. We knew that someone was looking out for her. She always went above and beyond,” says Caitlin.

“And now Sarah’s so excited to see Shannon, whenever she sees her.”

Katie too is thankful to have been part of this family’s journey. “It was honestly such a privilege to work with Nolan, Caitlin and Shannon. If every foster carer or family member could be like them, I think we’d live in a very different world.”