Shauna’s story: restoring family

Shauna’s story: Family restoration

“They are just sunshine,” Shauna gushes about Leo*, her son and his older sister, Shauna’s foster daughter. “He loves going for a walk or run around the neighbourhood. Everybody knows them wherever we go. He says ‘hello’ to people and he will put a smile on anyone’s face.”

Since becoming a carer with Wesley Foster Care, Shauna’s life has been changed for the better. Over the last six years, Shauna has fostered eight children, including Leo. And now she is Leo’s permanent legal guardian.

For Shauna, this journey towards becoming a foster carer began when she was a child. “I remember having a conversation with my mum when I was walking along the beach, that it’s something that I wanted to do,” Shauna reflects.

The dream becomes a reality

Shauna will never forget the moment she met her first foster child – just five days old, straight out of hospital. And at first, it was daunting.

“It was frightening. I didn’t sleep all night because I just was looking at him. I just felt a massive responsibility to do the best I could,” Shauna reflects.

But after a few deep breaths, Shauna began to embrace her role as a foster carer. And since then, Shauna has thrived.

“Every second with him I enjoyed. He was just an absolute joy to have. I think there were moments that were extremely difficult, but [I came] to that realisation that [I’m] doing something so monumental and [I’m] helping another human.”

Not long after Shauna began caring for her first child, foster care laws changed to focus on restoration. Where possible, foster children are restored to their birth parents. Shauna’s foster child was one of the first restoration cases for Wesley Foster Care.

From the moment Shauna met “her little person”, as she calls him, she went above and beyond to connect with his birth mother.

“When I first saw him and his birth mum together, it changed my perspective on what caring looked like for me,” Shauna explains.

“I learned that it wasn’t just about the sweet little person who was in my arms, but I also get the opportunity to love his mum. I know now that I couldn’t love these children if I didn’t show love to their families.”

As Shauna’s foster son grew, so did his birth mother. “I watched his birth mum kick goals. The realisation that he was going to leave to move in with her began to set in. But it was cool that she was getting there.”

Family restoration

At 16 months, that day finally came. Shauna’s foster son transitioned into the care of his birth mum. It wasn’t easy. While Shauna felt she was losing a piece of her heart, she knew deep down this was the right decision for her foster son.

“I think I coped with it better than anyone in my family, even though I probably was broken the most. I think if it didn’t hurt, I wouldn’t have been doing it properly.”

Wesley Foster Care Recruitment Officer Kim adds, “It really takes a unique kind person to transition a child. I think that’s one of Shauna’s strong points – her understanding that she has set that little person up for life.

“You could not ask for a better carer. She always makes the child the central focus. And she puts the children’s needs above anything that she wants.”

And while he longer no lives with Shauna, he’s still “her little person” and he remains strong in Shauna’s heart.

“When he left, I said to him, ‘Today your home is no longer mine, but my home will be forever yours’,” Shauna says.

“My thoughts going into it were to help a child. But I know now, when I can, it’s to help a family. When there’s no longer ‘us’ and ‘them’ – there are better opportunities for ‘us together’.”

Kim says, “It’s the ideal picture of restoration to be able to maintain relationships. She was the one who put those routines into place and records those milestones. So, during the restoration process, Shauna was able to impart her knowledge to help the birth mum with her son.”

Thankful for support

Shauna says she’ll be forever grateful to both Kim and Wesley Foster Care Team Leader, Johanne for their support during that difficult season.

“Honestly, that child’s life has been profoundly made better because of Johanne [navigating] the situation on her end. And if I didn’t have Kim, I probably would have stepped out of that restoration case. Because I was, you know, struggling. But she was such a good support,” Shauna says.

While Shauna will always carry a love for her first foster child in her heart, Shauna’s heart expanded with love when she welcomed her new “little person”, Leo to her home.

“When he came in the door and smiled, at just three months old, I just knew this wasn’t going to be a short story,” Shauna beams.

Watching Leo hit new milestones fills Shauna’s heart with joy. And along with learning his ABCs, Shauna’s teaching her son about his heritage. Both Shauna and her son identify as Aboriginal.

“I believe my foster son’s birth family is more culturally aware than my family was when I was growing up. So, for me, I’m learning so much about what I’ve missed out on.”

Through an open, mutual relationship with her son’s Nanna, Shauna continues to learn about her son’s cultural heritage, all while continuing to create that bond between their families. And this family bond extends to Leo’s siblings and extended family, who regularly visit and stay with them. Through these strong birth family connections, Leo’s youngest older sister now also lives with them.

Where it’s not possible for a child to be safely restored to their birth family, permanent legal guardians may be appointed to ensure a stable, permanent home for them. This is the case for Shauna and Leo.

Shauna is proud to now be Leo’s permanent legal guardian, where he moved from the care of the Minister and Wesley Foster Care, into her care. And she’s proud to be the long-term foster mum to Leo’s sister.

Making a difference in children’s lives

Since becoming a foster carer with Wesley Foster Carer, with the support of her friends, family and neighbours, the eight children Shauna has fostered over the years have included respite and temporary care, long-term placements and now guardianship.

“Respite is mostly for other carers, to give them time off to have a break and a bit of a rest,” Shauna explains, referring to looking after other carers’ foster children for short stays.

“It’s a bit of fun, because it changes the dynamic in my house for the weekend.”

Another memorable care experience was looking after two sisters for about six weeks for an emergency placement.

“The girls [were], ‘very energetic’”, Shauna recalls with a laugh. “We spent about three hours a day at the beach running off that energy!”

Throughout this journey, Shauna has relied on a couple of favourite sayings to see her through the ups and downs. One of them is to ‘love more than you judge’ – and the other is to ‘check your privilege’, especially on the hard days.

“I don’t always nail it,” Shauna laughs. “And at the end of some really hard days, I just say to the kids ‘Let’s try again tomorrow’”.

Have you considered becoming a foster carer?

Find out what it means to foster a child or young person with Wesley Foster Caer. Come along to our online foster care information to find out more.