In moments of desperation, Jasmine would lock herself in the bedroom, cradling her baby boy close to her chest whenever her son’s father erupted in rage. Despite it being her own home, she felt unsafe almost daily and wasn’t sure what to do.

The situation worsened as Jasmine and her partner turned to substance abuse as a way to cope with the long hours spent working at a chicken farm. The combination of challenges put the 32-year-old mum at risk of losing her son to the Department of Communities and Justice.

“I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost Billy,” Jasmine says. “I got out of that domestic violence relationship, moved to Sydney and got transferred to this support network at Wesley Mission. It feels like a long time ago.”

That’s because a lot can happen in two years.

Accepting change

When Tiah, her first caseworker from Wesley Family Preservation came to visit, Jasmine was relieved. She found Tiah to be “very upfront and blunt with me and that’s a good quality. She would tell me how I could improve”.

When Tiah was promoted to team leader, Jasmine felt unsure about the future. Eventually, she met Maddie, her current caseworker, who’s worked closely with Jasmine over the past year.

“Jasmine faced so many challenges but with our weekly visits, I began to see her confidence increase,” Maddie says. “She’d experienced a lot of toxic behaviours from Billy’s father, but she began to see quite clearly what sort of behaviours weren’t right and which were alarming.”

Maddie encouraged Jasmine to enrol in the SafeCare program, where both were pleasantly surprised by the depth of knowledge they gained and how much it helped their discussions. The course covered child safety, including what to do when children are sick, when to take them to the hospital or doctors and when “to worry” Jasmine says.

“It helped me childproof the apartment and taught me how to discipline without being harsh, which was different because I grew up with the belt.”

Despite her shyness and being prone to stage fright, Jasmine embraced the role-playing activities, which unexpectedly boosted her confidence. Between the role-playing and the information that SafeCare provided, Jasmine began to change for the better.

“I’m a really different person now from the person Maddie first met, definitely,” she says. “Being with Wesley Mission has helped me recognise that when I start a relationship, I need to see what’s going to be best for my child. If I’m upset and they’re not treating me right, how are they going to be with Billy? How is he going to handle it?”

Blossoming relationships

Her bond with her son has deepened significantly. Now, she sees him as a happy, active toddler who loves being outside and playing with his trucks and Hot Wheels cars.

“He’s bubbly and loves being the centre of attention, as all kids do,” Jasmine says. “He loves to go out and explore but he also comes back for affection and attention. That’s their circle of security and why, when you have a child, you’ve got to put yourself second to the child. The child is always first. Always.”

That’s one reason, too, Jasmine has taken courses now in early childhood care and is considering a career in that field. She’s hoping to save up to buy another home and is looking forward to someday having another baby.

“Going from that environment to where she is now, it’s a complete 180,” Maddie says. “She seems to trust her capabilities and potential, which shows with her doing these courses. And her relationship, her attachment and connection with Billy is beautiful to watch.”

‘That environment’ with Billy’s father, according to Jasmine, has turned out to be a gift. It drew her closer to her son and taught her to make better decisions about her future as well as what kind of relationships she should get into.

Focusing on what matters

“Billy is my number one priority. No matter what you want as a mother, the child is always first because it’s not about what you want. It’s about what the child needs,” Jasmine says. “If I could give others advice, it’d be to keep your eyes open. If you are in a relationship and you feel something is not right, listen to your instincts. Walk away before it’s too late.”

With such insights, it’s no wonder Jasmine works each day to make her home safe and to give Billy the care he needs.

“The way you’re being treated as a child, the way you grow up, reflects on how you are when you’re older. Your environment really impacts your adulthood,” she says. “I want the best for Billy.”